Some weeks I just find myself in a funk.

This doesn’t happen very often, if being truthful, yet every now and again life, people and all the things just get to be a bit heavy. Result of all of this without fail equals: funk.

I spent the better part of a whole day racking my brain on what this week’s column would ramble or “muse” about. No matter how I tried to turn it around, the funk prevailed.

So as I sat and hoped for something a bit more exciting, witty or inspiring to find me, I landed on the reality that for some this just might be a relatable topic.

The past two years have seen a major shift in my life.

Once a true extrovert, bopping around town from here to there, things now are much different. Socializing for me now, is much more intentional and definitely planned. Oh sure, I’m still up for a sporadic catch up with a friend on occasion, but not as much as it once was.

This coupled by two self-sufficient kids (aka young adults), the structure and plan our house once thrived on has now become three separate lives catching up with one another on occasion. Dinner together is now cherished. As a parent, overhearing the two of them in conversation, catching up with one another truly feeds my soul.

Yet, here we are days away from May and I’m just in a bit of a funk.

For many close friends and family, it’s a happy time as their families are growing via weddings or baby showers. Such an exciting time to watch these kids I once knew, now embarking on all the elements of adulting. It’s beautiful in all the ways and leaves one’s heart feeling happy and hopeful.

Amidst all of this there is also loss.

One of which took a good number of us by surprise most recently, as it was both sudden and unexpected.

Over the past handful of years, I’ve been known to pen a piece or two about community members as we bid them a good bye and thank you. This one, this one has just hit me a bit harder and I’m just not ready to put those words to paper just yet. The shock, void and heartbreak have been felt by many. Out of respect to the family and even more so, the individual, her memorial from me will come when it’s time – this is not it.

Perhaps that’s where this current funk stems from. The reality of a young life ending, just as so many others are getting started. Hers should be too.

Something about death just has a way of setting a person sideways. Unexpected passing just hits wrong.

Since losing my best friend in college, I’ve always marveled at the people who ask, “What happened?” I’ve never really understood this question because the outcome remains the same, regardless of the answer. As I hear it and speculation circle around me, I can’t help but be more irritated than entertained. Often finding myself muffling myself as I want to scream, does it matter? Gone is gone regardless of the how or what. That simply won’t change.

So, who else needed this? Hopefully a few of you. Funks aren’t fun, but they are part of life, healing and just simply being. I hope to break this funk within the next couple of days and have something a bit more witty and entertaining for you all soon.

My daughter and I are headed to a Giants game on Saturday, so that will be fun. We love going to games, eating all the overpriced food and high fiving our fellow fans in black and orange.

Until then, cheers to the ups and the downs, the highs and the lows and the loves we lose just a bit too soon. God bless us all.

Teresa Hammond is a staff reporter for The Oakdale Leader, The Riverbank News and The Escalon Times. She may be reached at thammond@oakdaleleader.com or by calling 209-847-3021.