No one appropriately prepared me for this next chapter.

Parenting and its many chapters, really is a funny thing.

I’ve shared some of these thoughts before. The reality of how much you’re “coached,” “enlightened,” and dare I say “warned” by veteran parents when your babies are little. All the wisdom just seems to overflow from all corners when they’re young.

Now granted mothers now, versus when my two were young, have much more by way of stuff to help with all the things.

The bedroom camera is the first thing which comes to mind, complete with an App on your phone, so one might spy their perfect bundle at any given moment. My two were monitored by voice via the baby monitor and boy were we happy to have it. Well, mostly. I’d be lying if I didn’t confess to popping in on occasion if things were too quiet to make sure all was good and their chests were moving as they should.

Yet during all the years of terrible twos (personally I think the threes are much worse; command of language is a tough season), pre-school, all day class, show and tell, room mom, junior high and oh the joy of all that comes in the teen era – no one can properly prepare a parent for this.

“This” would be the weeks leading up to the inevitable. The moment they most look forward to and as the days sneak up, you as a parent begin to dread. The moment I’m speaking of for those who have forgotten is quite simply moving day.

This can look different for each and every one. Be it moving to college, getting their own place or both, no one properly prepared me for the void I’m already feeling, while the move is still weeks away.

This past weekend it hit me in a new way, one quite honestly I wasn’t prepared for. What will life be like not seeing this human I cherish so much each and every day. My baby, my free spirit so ready to fly and find her way in this big, bold world.

Oh sure, we’ve been apart plenty. As a single mom there have been plenty of trips for her to see and spend time with dad and his family. There’ve been summer camps and church mission trips. All things which I thought had helped prepare me for this moment. I was wrong.

What I recognize is she’s reached a rite of passage. One which I remember so well from when I packed up and did the same thing. Never for a moment did I think of my mom’s heartbreak and nor should she. The excitement of being on my own and doing all the things, as I navigated adulthood, now awaits my baby. It’s her turn.

Okay sure, everyone talks about being an “empty nester,” but it starts and stops there. There are no words of wisdom or even warning on the sinking feeling that comes when you see their room empty more than not as they’re busy making memories with friends. All the final moments they squeeze in before their car is packed up and they’re on their way.

It’s a proud moment, there’s no doubt. The moment it hits that you’ve done your job as a parent. Begrudgingly facing the moment you must set the bird free, coupled with the reminder that they always have a place to land. As parents, wherever we land for them we are home.

Yet there’s still that sinking feeling in your stomach. The “watching your heart beat outside of your body,” people speak so much about.

My youngest is my first to venture off. Her brother stayed local and chose to stay home while chasing his dreams and independence. In the weeks ahead, he and I will do everything to make sure the baby bird of the family is set for the big, hopefully not so bad world and then we’ll settle into our home minus one.

For those facing this uncharted territory, I see you. Just like the days you changed a diaper in the darkness of night, wondering if anyone else was sleep-deprived, you are not alone.

While we may not have one of those handy cameras to watch them navigate this new road, we have something greater. We now possess the knowledge of knowing we have given them the tools to find their way. There will be bumps, hiccups and struggles, but just as we did, they will learn and ultimately be better for it.

And when they return home bubbling with stories and experience, we can sit proud knowing that it all started with a monitor and the unknown. Cheers.

Teresa Hammond is a staff reporter for The Oakdale Leader, The Riverbank News and The Escalon Times. She may be reached at thammond@oakdaleleader.com or by calling 209-847-3021.