No one can properly prepare you for this Chapter and when I say no one, I mean absolutely no one. The Chapter of course I’m speaking of is this “Empty Nest” transition.

Unlike the moment you bring home these bundles of joy you’ve anticipated for nine months (or more) of your life, “Empty Nest” seems to sneak up like a doctor removing stitches or a band-aid being pulled from a wound.

One day they are your everything, checking in with updates of when they’ll be home, who they’re with and pending plans and then … silence.

Oh sure, if you’re lucky you’ll get the occasional check-in. Some of you may be fortunate enough to get Facetime calls as they walk to and from class or get ready in the morning. This however, this is for the lone wolves like myself who may have a student that has gone off to truly, finally and unapologetically embark on self-discovery.

That’s where we sit currently in our home and while I’m grateful to have one only halfway out, there is a true void which could not have been predicted as my youngest spreads her wings.

It has been two months now since moving her into her dorm, going through the adjustment of roommates and the undeniable freedom we feel moving out and into college. Then of course there’s the factor of leaving a small town, where more people than not know of or actually know your mom. A bit much to carry at times, welcome to small town life.

With so much going on in our family life the past five and a half years, I truly hadn’t given full thought to how this void would hit. If being honest, I underestimated my daughter’s longing for freedom, a fresh start and self-discovery. Somehow, I’d forgotten how I was at 18 and I’m here to tell ya, if you have as well, the lack of memory doesn’t serve you.

Also raised by a single mom, I was fiercely independent when I graduated high school and was 100 percent certain I had my life completely figured out. Quite honestly, there was very little my mom could say or offer that I took value in. In my inexperienced head, she had no idea what life was like now, as she grew up in such a different time.

Sound familiar?

Time does indeed change much, by way of many things, one thing it doesn’t change, however, is a parents worry.

What I’ve come to realize most recently is what this has most to do with is control. It’s uncomfortable to admit that to myself, but that seems to be what’s at least partially at the root of this emptiness commonly known as the Empty Nest.

As parents, no longer do we have a say in where they go, how late they’re out or even when they come home. If you are a parent who still possesses the budget, count your blessing.

I did such a good job (insert wink) of preparing my youngest for what was ahead, that she is 100 percent financially independent. She’s equipped with the means to see her through and while that makes this momma proud, it is also scary. She’s young, I’m not and we know things.

Yet she is determined, just as I was, to take this on and learn her lessons with God at her side.

That’s another tough one, in addition to teaching both of my kids financial independence they each have strong faith which they learned from yours truly.

So if that be the case, then why is it so hard for the person who modeled such unwavering trust in our God, to lean into at this time.

I’m trying, trust me when I say, it’s a daily conversation I have with myself. Yet here we are.

What I came to realize most recently is this “fly the coop” time for my kids, is sort of like when they go from crawling to walking.

Suddenly, as if overnight, quite literally, they are off to see the world. When they first pull-up, they toddle a bit and then they’re off for the races. As we watch them and celebrate this newfound independence, we also secretly wish for one or two more months of crawling.

It’s conflicting really, the pride in their progression coupled by our longing to remain needed as only a parent can be.

So, to my fellow empty nesters, floundering through this season, working to remain supportive and a bit less controlling - I see you. I pray for you and I pray for our beautiful baby birds. May their flight be filled with little turbulence and may we remember that we will forever and always be their safe place to land. Fly safely dear birds.

Teresa Hammond is a staff reporter for The Oakdale Leader, The Riverbank News and The Escalon Times. She may be reached at thammond@oakdaleleader.com or by calling 209-847-3021.