When we look back at the lives of our ancestors, daily life demanded constant problem solving, resilience, and adaptability. Children learned to take care of themselves, work together, and face challenges head on because survival depended on it. Today, our lives are safer, more structured, and more convenient. We have removed many of the obstacles that once shaped resourcefulness and independence and in doing so, we have removed the small daily struggles that build the same qualities in our children.
Every year I meet bright and curious students who may be strong academically by certain measures but give up easily when they encounter an unfamiliar concept or unexpected obstacle. They are quick to look for help or step back rather than work through a problem on their own. This pattern is not about intelligence. It is about the opportunities they have had or have not had to develop independence and confidence in their own thinking.
Encouraging independence at home does not mean leaving children on their own. It means allowing them to make choices and experience the results. Maybe it is picking out their clothes for school and realizing what it feels like to be cold because they did not want to wear a coat. A calm response like, “You might feel cold later. Are you okay with that?” teaches more than a lecture ever could. Letting children tie their own shoes, pack their backpacks, or pour their own milk may take longer, be messier, or not quite right, but it builds self-reliance, patience, and problem-solving skills; exactly the qualities they will bring to school.
This idea connects directly to what we are trying to do in classrooms. In his book Building Thinking Classrooms in Mathematics, Peter Liljedahl shows that students learn more deeply when they are given space to think before being told what to do. When students work collaboratively on non-routine problems, they become more confident, curious, and resilient. They stop waiting for adults to rescue them and start taking ownership of their learning.
Independence begins at home. When children are encouraged to think, decide, and reflect in everyday life, they carry those habits to school. They are more willing to take risks, ask questions, and persist when the answer does not come right away. That is what a true thinking classroom depends on. Students can trust in their own ability to figure things out because they have exercised this muscle through practice and experience.
The good news is that this mindset can grow in small ways. Let your children tie their shoes, dress themselves, pack their lunches even if it takes longer, is messier, or is not quite right. These experiences build confidence and increase their ability to solve a variety of real-life problems. When we do everything for them, we risk teaching helplessness and sending the message that adults must always solve their problems. It is about giving children the room to try, fail, and try again, one choice, one small struggle at a time.
Principally Speaking is a monthly article, contributed by principals from Escalon Unified School District sites, throughout the school year. It is designed to update the community on school events and activities.
